Plea #23: I had a horrible dream last night.
(Well, I guess that makes it a nightmare..? That's beside the point.)
In it, everything seemed normal... but I knew none of it was real.
It was as if I had woken up, and was living my life with everything behaving relatively realistically, but I could tell it was all 'off'.
I knew I was trapped in some sort of illusion.
The people around me acted SORT OF like themselves, but I knew they weren't.
And nobody would listen to me. No one would listen when I said that it wasn't real.
They all just kept trying to convince me that it was.
That made me start fearing that I would lose my grip on reality, and start believing it was real myself.
It was horrifying.
I spent all my time in the dream trying to get back to the real world. I didn't know how I had gotten there. I never even considered it to be a dream.
I just knew it wasn't real.
In the end, I gave up trying to escape... And then, JUST as I slammed my head down on my desk in defeat, I woke back up.
It took me a few moments to orient myself. It had all felt so real. (Or, I suppose, UNreal)
I was still paranoid and shaken.
I remembered it all very vividly too.
I really thought I would be trapped in there forever.
I remember when I was younger I had a similar dream, where I panicked, thinking I hadn't set my alarm, and that I would never wake up... But at least in that one, I knew it was a dream.
In this one, I didn't even consider that. I had no idea what it WAS, just that it wasn't real.
That I was trapped.
It was so dreadful... Being lonely despite being surrounded by what appeared, and behaved ALMOST like people I really knew...
I was disturbed for the rest of the day.
I hope I'll be over it tomorrow.
I didn't confide in anyone about it, but if I'm still obsessing after tonight's rest, I think I may need to.