Plea #42: I'm FURIOUS today... Well, not really...
I'm mostly just sad. Disappointed even.
I guess I see what teachers are always talking about, haha.
Dad forgot to get the mail today. That's fine.
Everybody forgets things every now and then, but do you know what I had waiting in that mailbox?
A letter from my northern sweetheart!
"Okay, big deal, just go get the mail right now!" I hear you naively say.
Well, guess what? I CAN'T. "Why?" You ask?
BECAUSE IT WAS EATEN BY A GOAT.
"How?" You ask?
(You're pretty curious, aren't you?)
Well, APPARENTLY, today OF ALL DAYS was the day the king had more livestock imported.
Which, again, would be FINE if it weren't for the fact that the delivery company had just recently hired the CLUMSIEST wrangler in the WORLD.
When it came time to put the animals in their pens, he opened the carriage... And then jumped out of the way when the goats ran out.
One of the goats, however, noticed a goat sized gap between the gate and carriage, which he of course, DASHED through to run amok in the town.
WHICH WOULD BE JUST FINE IF IT HADN'T HOMED IN ON MY MAILBOX AS ITS HANDPICKED BUFFET!
And that's how my letter was dispersed among the goat's 4 stomachs and the crap that comes from them, rather than me.
I guess I'll just have to send a letter to my love, explaining the situation...
But it's pretty upsetting that his elegantly written literature is forever lost to a goat's bowels...
From now on, I'm gonna get the mail MYSELF first thing every morning.
This is NOT happening again.