Plea #5: Did you know moss has measurable intellect? Seriously! Assuming we're measuring intellect on the basis that it can solve a problem, statistically, given a problem, moss can solve it in a measurable amount of time, with measurable effort. For instance, if you were to ask a small patch of moss what 2+2 equals, and interpret the shape it grows into as the answer in integer form, in the incredibly unlikely, but still possible event it answers correctly, you could measure its intellect. Even if it was wrong, you could measure how 'close' it was to being the shape of a 4! The vibrations of your voice as you ask technically effect the growth of the plant, satisfying an "input", the growth is the "processing", and the final shape it responds with is the "output". Now this isn't exclusive to moss, this silly observation applies to almost all things that move in a quantumly-random manner, but isn't that funny?... I thought it was. Hey, you'd think about this stuff too if you were shackled to eternity. Maybe I'll try this on my own patch in the corner while I wait. I'll report back if I get a response from him!
No I won't.

Why do I act like this?