Plea #73: Indefinite Dread Sometimes I dread things.
I dread parts of projects I start, or luncheons I can't avoid.
And with this dread, I end up obsessing over what I can't control.
It consumes my every thought.
I become paralyzed by the concept of an inevitability.
I lollygag my way through my day, putting off the dreaded action as long as I can. And sometimes... there's no deadline.
No date or time marks the clearing of this awful fog from my head.
Sometimes, it's up to me to determine the task's completion.
That's when it's the worst.
I seem to slow to a crawl in whatever I work on to lead up to it.
I fill my plate with every appetizer I can fathom, in the hopes that I'll be full by the time the main meal arrives.
But I never am.
There is no "full".
Not until the meal is over, and I've gulped down my vegetables.
And so I prolong the dinner, as though I'm competing for an endurance record.
And it's miserable.
Oh, how it's miserable.
The meal must be eaten.
I must learn to tolerate it.
I must take the first bite... but something inside me makes it so unfathomably difficult.
I must learn how to overcome this dread.